1. Finding our your baby is an evil genius when he explosively poops the first time his big brother offers to change a diaper, assuring that he’ll never volunteer again.
2. Your seven year old tells you that you are too old to call yourself mommy. I think he has that backward.
3. Realizing your seven-year-old has a larger vocabulary than you when he uses the word capabilities correctly in a sentence at 6 am in the morning. Doesn’t he know you haven’t even had your coffee?
4. Finally going to bed and finding a whoopie cushion under your pillow.
5. Your baby that never spits up, vomits his entire bottle on you as you’re walking out the door for work and then gives you a big smile. That’s a good enough excuse to take the day off right?
6. Finding out your son finally got his school photos by finding them crumpled up in the bottom of his book bag crushed under the weight of his Pokemon collection binder.
7. Also finding in said bookbag a hand drawn cartoon of captain underpants telling bad guys to die and wondering if you should be expecting a phone call.
8. Realizing your foot is still bouncing the baby bouncer five minutes after your husband already picked up the crying baby.
9. It’s inevitable that anytime you sit down with a plate of food the baby will wake from his nap and expect to be fed immediately.
10. Again with the explosive poop in a public area when I have only two wipes left. Evil genius.
Please share why you’ve needed a glass of wine in the comments!!