Motherhood is something that has changed for me with each child. I’m not the same person I was after my last child or the child before that.
Though my children are still young they’ve already made me wise beyond my years. At least I’d like to think so.
You see when most of my friends were celebrating finishing their first year of college, I was giving birth to my first son and wondering how I was going to continue my education with a newborn.
He was a surprise but one I welcomed with open arms.
He taught me maturity and selflessness.
The world no longer revolved around my nineteen-year-old self, but around this sweet 5lb 6oz baby boy.
Not only that he taught me to stand up for myself and how to be strong. He helped me find my voice and my own self-worth.
It may have taken some extra time but I finished my bachelor’s before his 6th birthday.
My second child, my daughter, taught me lessons in love and loss.
I would have gladly given my life to save hers.
As I gave birth in silence and held her lifeless body
I felt my heart break for the first time.
My world shattered around me and I fell into a deep hole of grief.
But over time I found my strength and picked myself back up.
She taught me how to find the meaning in the hard times, and taught me how truly strong I could be.
My youngest son is still working on his lessons.
Not only was his pregnancy a huge trial but his birth and his life.
Born weighing just 3 pounds, I’ve spent many days wondering if he’d live to see the next.
For his first six months, I spent more nights on a hospital couch than I did my own bed.
Therapies, surgeries, specialists, and feeding tubes while trying to hold down a full-time job.
He’s taught me perseverance and has been another reminder of my strength.
There are many days I’ve reminded myself to just keep going.
We still have bad days but we also have amazing ones.
His smile and hugs make all of the hard work worth it.
I’m supposed to be the parent teaching the lessons but that hasn’t always been the case.
Each of my three children has been a hard but beautiful lesson.
For that I thank them.
This wasn’t how I expected motherhood to be, but I couldn’t imagine it any other way.